I guess i can’t have guy friends

So i recently started working as a server at this local diner here in town. Its pretty much a gathering place for Mormons and old people. I get tipped shit and my boss (who is Mormon) has the weirdest fucking rules. But the day that i started, so did W. Me and him became super fast friends, primarily by talking shit to each other. It’s the greatest friendship ever. Then i found myself becoming attracted to him. Like i hate to say ‘crush’ but holy shit do i have a crush on this man. He’s my best friend, and he also has a girlfriend. So im here trying hold myself back, because i dream about this guy all the time.

Im also friends, now, with his girlfriend, and im soooo not about the be that bitch to get in the way of that. I think im better than that.

Theeen, on the other hand, my old boyfriend from way back when, and i, have been talking, and i have so much feeling for this man, we’ve been through a lot, and he’s always been there for me. He wants to get back together when i move back to Cali, which would be AWESOME, but theres a problem.

I know i want to get married, and have kids one day. But he doesn’t. Its just not his thing. And im sitting here debating whether its worth it or not. To go into a relationship that you know wont get to the place you want it, but still be in a good place. Or try to find someone else who wants the same things. But i do really care about him. Gah, its all just so confusing. I wish someone would just tell me what the fuck to do.

I hate being an adult.

I need a drink.

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