You Just Had to Pick a Crazy One.

About three and a half years ago I met a Mr. S. He was older than me, but that’s nothing new with the men I like.

We became really good friends, and both were equally attracted to each other. He was this long-haired hippy, with the most beautiful eyes ever. swoon. 

However, my age was kind of a problem. He was in his late twenties, and though I was adult I had the unfortunate ‘teen’ still at the end of my age. But we still spent a lot of time together. Some nights when I was bored at home, he would ride his bike over to my house. Which was an impressive 4 miles uphill mind you. We would smoke cigarettes and just talk. For hours. Like the sun would come up and we wouldn’t even realize it. It was fucking awesome.

Then one magical alcohol infused night we slept together. It kind of freaked us both out. I didn’t know what this would do to our friendship, and he was still hung up on my age… So, sadly, I lost my best friend for a while. But a little while later we patched things up, and decided we actually liked sleeping together… and being friends.

I soon realized that I was pretty much head over heels for this man.

Everything was going pretty awesome. Then my dad asked me to move to texas, because he wanted me to figure my life out. So, being as my father is my absolute favorite person in the world, I agreed. Me and Mr.S were going pretty good, up until i took a trip to San Francisco. Because when I came back we were done. Like, he told me we couldn’t even be friends again.

Anywhoozers, he began dating this girl E, and she absolutely despised me… Like ive never felt such hatred from a person ive never met before. Apparently she had liked him for a while, but she slept with his friend. yadah yadah yadah I don’t give a fuck.

But me and him barely spoke before I left. Broke my fucking heart.

So I moved. And I didn’t hear from him in over a year then out of the blue he send me a message on Facebook. apologizing for not talking to me and ignoring me. I try to forgive him, but it didn’t really work out. I got mad and told him he sucked (but with a lit more cuss words).

But she found out about it. So she decided to send me this message, from her account, telling me how i was just this big joke and how i need to get over him. And im just fucking laughing. Like, firstly, im across the country. Second, she sounds like she needs to see a councilor. Like, that message was probably the meanest thing ive ever heard. Ever. (which is saying something since in my childhood i had no friends because i would hiss at people like a cat).

So i respond. Its pretty much a really descriptive message about how she can kindly, and gently, go fuck herself.

Later i found out she ended up going to jail because she showed up at his job and flipped a bitch switch about him talking to me.

But the whole point of this, is in about 6 months im moving back to that town, and they are still together (I have no fucking clue why. I think her vagina is magical or something). But im worried im gonna see them out one night, and she’s going to either:

a. punch me in the face.

or

b. Throw acid in my eyes.

Come on Mr.S, Why’d you have to choose a crazy one?

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