So are you dead or just an asshole

One of the biggest pet peeves that I have, and will definitely always have are flaky little bitches. The whole, “I’ll be there in an hour!” and then they just don’t show up. And whether it’s a friend or a lover it makes me want to lightly punch them in the face with a car. Like this is the age of technology people! It literally takes 10 seconds to send a text saying, “Hey can’t make it. Rain-check. ttyl.” DONE. What really Grinds My Gears as Peter Griffin would say, is when you don’t even take the time to inform me plans change.

So i am currently going through this right now. And if I wasn’t so terrible at talking to people about how I feel I would totally talk to my lover about all of this. And this is what I would say… if I had some balls. Oh, and he still has my 5 thousand dollar jacket at his house… fucking dick face.

“Hey buddy, I really do like your penis and all its glory, but hey grow a bigger pair of balls and when you want to cancel, just, oh I don’t know.. Tell me maybe? And if that doesn’t float your boat, then I don’t want to rock your ocean anymore, because I kind of want to punch you in the face… you literally live 3 blocks away… so just come over, AND DON’T FORGET THE JACKET, and lets break my bed.”

I mean I feel like that’s about as romantic/straightforward as I know how to be. But me being awkward I don’t quite know how to be as honest as I would like sometimes. I mean yea i’m a direct person.. and if he straight up asked me if I minded him being a little flaky bastard, I would tell him the truth. But bringing it up on my own? Jesus Christ I might as well just tell him I love him… Well in my head that’s its equivalent.

I mean, if I don’t hear from someone I see on a regular basis, for over a week, I assume you have died in a horrible death, and it hasn’t made it to the news yet because no one could ID you. That’s where my head goes… I also happen to know it’s not true in this case because my friends saw him yesterday.

So M, I ask you… Are you dead or just an asshole?


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